I truly think that everyone I know either has two children, or is pregnant with their second. Painful! It is one of the hardest things. I always thought having a child meant that I wouldn't go through this degree of pain again. The first two miscarriages were horrible because I thought that I would never have a child. This one is hard because I am ready for another child, and I really hope that my son will not be an only-child. It's not that I think there is anything wrong with only children. I just really want him to experience siblings. My sister and I were pretty close growing up, and I think that he deserves a similar experience. I understand that there is no telling how close they might be, but I do hope he will have that one of these days.
In the meantime, I keep saying Seven Sorrows Rosaries. I think they actually help me feel a little better with my suffering and sorrow. I know I'll never feel 100% great about this situation, but at least it gives me a chance to improve my feelings. There is a retreat in my parish coming up in a week, and I am so looking forward to it because it will give me a chance to enhance my relationship with God. It seems like it's suffering a little right now, all my pain is making it hard to turn to Him. I know that will change someday. Hopefully the retreat will speed that up. This feeling is abhorrable!
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